Drunk
by Alois-Bipolar-Blonde
Summary: The Host Club are over at the twin's house and their drinks get spiked. One-shot. T for drinking and mentions of s*x.


**The butler snuck into the room, bottle of whiskey in hand.  
He crept over to the punch bowl and emptied the bottle into the red liquid.  
Grinning, he ever-so-slowly edged out of the room, back into the kitchen.  
That would be a surprise.**

OoOoOoOoOoO

""Come on guys! Let's go to our house now!"" Hikaru and Kaoru chorused.  
"Okay, okay! We're coming already!" Tamaki said, walking with the rest of the group.  
"Say, Hikaru, Kaoru, is there going to be anyone at your house tonight?" Kyoya adjusted his glasses.  
"No!" Hikaru started.  
"They've got a day off today." Kaoru smiled.  
"Oh." Kyoya wrote something down in his book.  
Haruhi spotted a limo idling on the curb, "Is that yours?" She asked, pointing.  
""Yep!""  
Kaoru pulled open the door and everyone piled into the car.

OoOoOoOoOoO

"Would you like some punch masters?" A butler bowed to the seven.  
"I thought you said no-one was here?" Hunny chirped from Mori's shoulders.  
The twins looked up, ""Except one""  
"'Kay!"  
Kaoru turned to the butler, "Yes we would! Like punch I mean."  
"Yes master." The butler backed out of the room, leaving to Host Club to themselves.  
""Do you want some food?"" Amber eyes looked everyone over.  
"Do you have cake?" Hunny asked.  
Kaoru nodded.  
"Yes pleeeeease!"  
"Hn."  
"Sure."  
"Okay."  
"Food!" Tamaki smiled.  
""Follow us!"" Hikaru and Kaoru led the group into the living room.  
On the table there were a couple of platters with different foods on them.  
Including fancy tuna.  
Haruhi gasped, then rushed over to the tuna.  
A punch bowl sat in the middle of everything.  
Mori nibbled on a breadstick while Hunny inhaled half the cake on the table.  
Kyoya took a bite out of a small sandwich.  
Haruhi was feasting on fancy tuna, and Tamaki was chomping on crackers.  
Hikaru scooped some punch into a small glass, "Anyone want any?"  
Nods all around.  
Hikaru served out a glass of punch to everyone.  
Then seconds.  
Then thirds.  
Even fourths.  
Kaoru sat on the floor, grinning, "That tastes so -hic- yummy!"  
"It doeeees." Hikaru giggled at nothing.  
Haruhi leaned against the wall, "I'm... So... Sleepy..."  
"When the duck... Walked up... to... the lemonade... stand..." Kyoya was slumped on a couch, mumbling a random song.  
Hunny was asleep next to Mori, who was also sleeping.  
"Ga ga ka! Hee!" Tamaki stifled a laugh.  
Kaoru suddenly stood up, "I wanna eat a -hic- parachute!"  
"Let's have a striptease!" Hikaru giggled.  
"No! I wanna go shop for a potato chair!" Tamaki whined.  
Kyoya woozily got up, "I gotta get a shelf. Painted teacup!" He fell over in a laughing fit.  
"Me too!" Kaoru staggered over and fell over Kyoya.  
"You smell like curtains..." Kyoya mumbled.  
Hikaru poked his tongue out "Guess which one is in love wi -hic- th you!"  
"You?"  
Hikaru smiled dopily, "Uh huh! You gottit riiiiiiiight!"  
"Let's go to the allm!" Tamaki said.  
"Yeah!" Kaoru wobbled to his feet.  
"Can I getta puppy Shiro?" Haruhi asked from the corner.  
Tamaki nodded, "I want one too!"  
Haruhi, Tamaki, Hikaru, Kaoru and Kyoya left the house, wobbly and woozy.  
When they arrived at the mall, it was almost empty.  
Hikaru jumped onto Kyoya's back, "Can we go together?"  
Kyoya nodded and the two went into the closest shop, leaving Kaoru, Haruhi and Tamaki in the foyer.  
"Your preeeeeetty Kaoru." Haruhi's voice was slurred.  
Tamaki snuggled him, "You are pretty! Like a heater!"  
Kaoru giggled.  
Tamaki yawned suddenly and started bouncing on the balls of his feet.  
"Let's go to a cyclerist shop! With the wheels and flashy beads!" He chuckled.  
Kaoru smiled, "Yeah! I wanna carrot malhet!"  
"Helmet..." Haruhi mumbled.  
"Your hairs already carrot." Tamaki pointed out.  
"Double carrot!"  
"Yay!" Tamaki grinned.  
The three went into the closest cyclist shop.  
"Look! A train!" Kaoru pointed to a bike chain.  
"Let's ride it to Africa!" Haruhi suggested.  
Kaoru nodded, then turned to Tamaki, "Takami! Want to go to Austria?"  
"Yep!"

OoOoOoOoOoO

"Kyooooo-Kyoooooo!" Hikaru called down the aisles of clothes.  
Kyoya's head popped out from the side of a rack of dresses, "Yes Hika-ru?"  
"I need a hug!"  
"No."  
"WHAT?!"  
"I don't want a hug." Kyoya crossed his arms.  
Hikaru pouted, "But you're so cute..."  
"...Fine."  
The two hugged, then Hikaru smiled, "How about more than a hug?"  
"Oh-kay!"  
Hikaru jumped on Kyoya and kissed him.  
And... It kept moving...

OoOoOoOoOoO

"I wanna go home." Kaoru pouted.  
"Me too!" Haruhi whined.  
"No! We have to go to the shelf teacup for Kyooooya!" Tamaki said and ran into a wall.  
"Let's go hooooome!" Kaoru said and stood up, "We need to find Hika and Kyo!"  
Haruhi nodded, then pointed, "I found them!"  
Hikaru was clinging around Kyoya's neck, shirt unbuttoned.  
Kyoya had a shirt on, but the top of his pants was undone.  
"We're going home!" Hikaru said excitedly.  
"Us too!" Kaoru smiled.  
All five of them finally reached the house, then went into the living room to find Hunny sleeping on top of Mori.  
Hikaru and Kaoru giggled.  
Tamaki collapsed awkwardly on a couch.  
Kyoya kissed Hikaru quickly, then fell asleep, falling onto a chair.  
Hikaru crawled over and fell asleep on top of Kyoya.  
Kaoru looked at Haruhi, "You're sparkley!"  
"You're asleep!"  
"No I'm... No...t" Kaoru fell over sideways onto the floor, practically passed out.  
Haruhi smiled and snuggled into the side of the couch.

OoOoOoOoOoO

"Oh... My head hurts..." Tamaki pulled his head up, only to find that it was murder in his neck.  
He tumbled forward and got into a sitting position.  
Haruhi was curled up next to him.  
Kaoru jolted awake, "WHATEVER IT WAS, IT WAS HIKARU'S FAULT!" He yelled, then looked around, "Oh... Never mind."  
"Morning Kaoru. Is your head as sore as mine?" Tamaki turned his head slightly to look at the younger twin.  
"Yep. I feel like I'm half dead." Kaoru slowly stood up, then lowered himself onto the couch.  
"What happened last night?" He looked down at Tamaki.  
"Spiked drinks." A low voice from the corner said.  
Tamaki and Kaoru looked over to see Mori sitting up.  
"We all got drunk."  
"Makes sense." Kaoru nodded slightly.  
A small cough was heard from the middle of the room, "Um... I can't move."  
Kyoya wriggled around, being weighed down by Hikaru.  
Suddenly memories of the previous night flooded through his mind.  
"GAH! SHIT!" Kyoya jumped up, sending Hikaru falling onto the ground, knocking him awake. The yell also awoke Haruhi and Hunny.  
"What's all the racket?" Haruhi mumbled.  
"I-I... AH!" Kyoya looked horrified.  
Tamaki looked up, startled, "What's wrong Mummy?"  
"I..."  
Hikaru looked up, "Wha-?"  
Then he realised.  
"AIGH! AW GODDAMMIT!" I shoved himself to his feet.  
His shirt was still unbuttoned.  
Kyoya's pants were still undone.  
They both started screaming.  
"ICAN'TF***INGBELEIVEIF***INGDIDTHAT!" Hikaru screamed.  
"SHITSHITSHIT! IWILLDIEINEXACTLYFORTYSECOND S! DIE! WHYTHEF***INGHELLDIDIDOTHATWITHYOU?!" Kyoya was freaking out, a rare but terrifying sight.  
"SHUT UP!" Kaoru yelled, making the heads of everyone throb.  
Kyoya and Hikaru covered their mouths and looked at Kaoru.  
"Now, what exactly are you panicking about?" He slowly asked.  
"WE SLEPT TOGETHER!" Hikaru yelled at the same time Kyoya yelled, "WE HAD SEX!"  
The whole room stared at them.  
"YOU WHAT?!" Tamaki screeched, piercing everyone's eardrums.  
"Everyone, be more quiet." Mori ordered.  
All eyes shifted to the gentle giant.  
"Calm, down."

OoOoOoOoOoO

The butler walked into the room where the Host Club was.  
"Maybe I should have used beer and whiskey... More intense."  
"WHAT?!"


End file.
